Thursday, December 1, 2011

Is There Justifiable Anger?

Anger does not help solve problems. Throughout my life, I have heard my father, my mother, my teacher, and my mentor tell me this many times. I agree with them and believe it is true. I have talked, taught, discussed, and written about it. However, I still get angry sometimes. It is not easy to manage one's emotions, especially anger, which arises instantly. Some people are angry for no reason. Other people get angry because of misunderstandings. Some people become angry because others do something to make them angry.

Suppose you are walking down a street alone in the middle of the night. If someone steals your wallet from behind and runs away, you will be angry at first. There are some people who have lost family members through accidents, war, murder, or as a result of terrorism. These people must be terribly angry. A long time ago, I had a discussion with my friend about whether or not there is such a thing as justifiable anger. My answer had always been, "Yes, there is." However, recently, there was an occurrence that made me reconsider my stance. As a result, my conclusion today is that there is no such thing as justifiable anger, no matter what wrongs have been done.

Carlos was a happy-go-lucky person. He was friendly, open-minded, and joyful. However, he had a problem. As many cheerful persons are, he was emotional. When he got angry, no one would be able to calm him down. Unfortunately for him, his wife was even more emotional than him when she became furious. Whenever they had an argument, the situation would become out of control. There were often broken cups, dishes, glasses, or saucers to pick up after the fight.

One day they started arguing over their difference of opinion. However, afterwards they both did not remember what the cause of their argument was. The arguing increased, and they were shouting at each other. Carlos' wife broke several dishes and he was upset about it. His wife said that she was tired of fighting and she wanted a divorce. Still extremely angry, Carlos accepted his wife's request. His wife was still resentful the next morning. She drove to the local court and filed a divorce claim. By that time, Carlos had calmed down and regretted what had happened. He was no longer able to stop his wife. He could not handle the situation properly, simply because he was angry. He was not sure why they needed to divorce.

Why is there no justifiable anger? It is because anger makes one confused, uncontrollable, unreasonable, and illogical. Anger locks one's brain, fogs one's eyes, and deprives one of the ability to think reasonably. People cannot properly handle situations when they are angry. When I last had an argument with my wife, it cost me my favorite mug and a hole in our wall.

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