Sunday, May 19, 2013

5 Steps to Deal With Fear

Among people's emotions, fear is the one which people has a problem dealing with most. Fear is deep emotion, which cannot be so easily avoided, addressed, or conquered. Instead of anger, being a simple burst of emotional force, which could be ceased after such burst, fear could be quiet cancer, which eats inside of your mind. There is an analysis that fear is the real cause of anger. One would show his anger because he did not like to express his fear. This theory explains why people tends to be angry if others pointed out their true weakness. People are angry when others point their true weakness based on their fear that others would find their weakness. In this sense, fear and anger could be called face and tail of a coin. People need to address their fear to manage their anger.

According to my cousin, who is a psychologist, 87% of fear of people is one, which is groundless, unreasonable, and meaningless. People do not have to deal with this kind of fear. He suggested that one might not attempt to address fears immediately. He recommends to his clients to set one day in a week to deal with their fears. For example, one could decide to consider and address his fear on Thursday, every week. Even he felt fear and started to think about it on Sunday, he would wait until Thursday to address it. My cousin told me that more than 80% of people did not feel fear any longer, or they forgot about it by Thursday. The fear people did not forget or could not stop feeling were the real ones which one need to address. In this way, one can distinguish real fear and meaningless fear.

Based on the above, one could establish the way or process to cope with his fear. They are simple, though they may not be easy.

1. Accept that you have fear instead of hiding it with anger.

2. Stop thinking about the fear on that moment. Take some time to address it.

3. Think if the cause of fear is manageable by human power.

4. If found not manageable by human capacity, accept again it is unmanageable.

5. Since it is beyond human capability, leave it to time and Higher Power. Trust them that they can take care of them.

When one becomes fearful, it is not so easy to follow the above processes with calm and serene status of mind and brain. Remember, at least, one thing. If your fear is unmanageable within human capacity, you can deal with it. If you cannot solve it with your power, it is meaningless and wasting time if you continue to think and worry about it.

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