Sunday, June 16, 2013

5 Basic Points to Think Before Getting Angry


There is nothing more annoying than dealing with our own anger. One sometimes argue against his own family members, such as spouse, children, and so on. We all know that being angry does not help the situation. Instead, we all are aware that being angry will worsen the situation, because it can make the other person wild, as well. We all still get angry some times. We tend to be angry when the other person pointed something, which we wanted to hide, or did not intend to show. In some other time, we do not like the way the other person told you. Have we had even single event that we were glad that we were angry? Maybe we do not.

When one is angry, he tends to blame someone else. In driving, one would be angry because some other drivers drive too slow, too fast, or too close. It could be any reason. One could be angry to his family for any reason. He is angry with his partner because she did not greet to him in the morning. He is angry with his son, because he uses too much batter in the breakfast. He is angry with his employer because his boss is too demanding. He is angry with his subordinates because they are lazy. The list goes on and does not stop. When one is angry, he does not think about himself. Somebody else is always responsible and causing his anger.

Even we try to analyze why, how, and when we get angry, it does not help us not to be angry next time. It appears that we need to be armored not to be angry or equipped with a tool to avoid being angry. Is not there any tool, which, at least helps us, not to express our outrage to others?

It is clear that anger has all negative impact on our daily lives. One will lose the peace of his mind. He may have to spend a day or so being mad. One will cause others to lose their peace of mind. The person one was angry with might lose his peace of mind and might be mad for the rest of his day. In this way, it will hamper human relationship. It would take one's time more than the one angry could imagine. When you are angry, one needs to spend hours to yell at others. After argument has finished, it takes days, weeks, months, or some times years, for one to reconcile with others, who he was angry with.

There is a study showing the structure of anger. According to the analysis, the anger is the front side of one's fear. One may be angrier if he hears that he is fearful to be angry. One method could be accepting being fearful and try to find what caused him to be fearful.

1. Take a deep breath, count 5 seconds (slowly), and think it may be you who is wrong.

2. Take a deep breath again, count 10 seconds (slowly), and try to find what could benefit you by being angry.

3. Accept that there is a fear behind the anger.

4. Think about fear behind the anger.

5. Try to eliminate the cause of the fear, which caused the anger.

Please remember the cause of your anger may be negligible and insignificant. You might think why you were so angry after a while. Do you remember when the last time was you were angry? Do you remember whom you were angry? Do you remember why you were angry? Are you still angry for the same reason? Remember anger does not help anything. It will get one's situation worse.






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