Sunday, September 29, 2013

Do Not Let Anger Control You - 5 Harms of Anger to Remember

Do not you have an experience to talk to yourself, "Oh, I should not have said that", or "I should not have done that", after you told something bad or showed bad behavior to the people who you were talking to? Obviously there are moments when our emotion, anger, takes over our rationale and directly control our statement or behavior.

The most recent occasion I remember is my immigration process with INS (Immigration and Naturalization Service of the USA). It was long wait for my interview to be scheduled without any given specific reasons. When the schedule was set, my lawyer told me not be angry no matter what happened. I was laughing and told him not to worry. There should not be anything, which made me angry, I thought.

The interview went quite well. The officer was quite courteous and there was not a single moment of rudeness. The officer asked me to go back to the first floor and submit my picture for processing. I thanked him for the interview, he thanked me for my time. My wife and I went down to the window for the picture submission. The person in the window was not as courteous as the interview officer.

The lady at the window pointed out we did not pay for the processing and the picture is different from the one INS designates. Our emotion almost always catches us in surprise. Maybe I was too much relaxed due to the fact that the interview finished. I was so angry this lady is complaining about me that I almost yelled at her. It was quite fortunate that my wife detected my anger and pulled me back. I could curtail my anger and went out to take another picture in the photo shop nearby.

It might be true that the lady did not talk so friendly. But there should have been no reason to be angry. She was doing what she was supposed to do based on INS regulation and all I should have done is to take picture and give it to her. The most important that time was to submit my picture on that day, not to make friend with the lady in the window. As explained, the anger hits us more on non-substantial points. If I were angry and had an argument with the person in charge, I would not be able to submit the picture on that day and my immigration process would have further delayed. In this way, the anger does not do any good for you.

The worst emotion easily takes over your attitude is anger. Anger will take over your all logical thinking, change your face, change your tone of voice, and change your behavior. Can you think of anything which anger can benefit you? Even if you get some short time advantage because you showed your anger, negative reaction you are suffering may be far bigger than that.

In addition, anger gives you unnecessary waste of your energy. Sometimes, you get headache, sour throat from yelling, instability of emotion, which you need to spend some time to recover from. Anger deprives you of your peace of mind.

1. Anger can damage your social reputation

2. Anger can damage your relationship with you family, friends, and colleagues.

3. Anger can deprive you of power to make right decision.

4. Anger can damage your business.

5. Anger can deprive you of peace of your mind and make your emotion unstable.

The most important point is #5 above. Even if you could get what you wanted by showing anger, later on you may not feel peaceful about what the person, you were angry at, might think. Or you may even think that person may think about retaliating you for your anger. It may take you for more than a day or so to regain peace of mind or give up thinking. We all know that anger does not solve any problem.

It is important to manager your anger and keep peace of your mind.

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