So, fear is the most control intended emotion. By age 10 or 11, most of us learn how not to show our fear even we feel it. Many feel insulted if somebody says you are afraid. Ask your kid if he is afraid, he will answer you, "No" with angry face asking back why you. But the reality of life is there is no one who does not feel fear. These mixed and complicated experience makes fear to be a special emotion for all of us. It may be simpler if one can freely and openly show their fear. Think we do not have to hide our fear. We do not have to hide it with anger or any other emotion.
There are many kind of fear in our lives and society. But despite of its complexity, fear can be categorized into just following 2 kinds:
1. Fear that you lose what you possess.
2. Fear that you do not get what you badly want.
What is Nature of Fear? As we discussed, we were all born with fear. Not just human beings, but any animal is born with fear. The fear is one of built-in mechanism of any creature on the planet earth. Fear is one of the safety mechanism prepared for avoiding dangers in living. So, everybody feels fear. The person called bravest in the world feels fear as you and I do. Knowing this is one of important factor to deal with your fear. Nobody is fearless even they are called so.
Then, how and when do we feel fear? When we are sick, we feel fear. You do not have to be seriously ill to feel fear. Even you have hung-over from previous night drinking triggers your fear. You feel fear when you face something, which you cannot control. For example you do not receive email reply from your lover. You heard that your colleagues in your company lost his job. You may be the next. CNN said stock market crashed, and so on.
Have you had an experience, maybe when you were a young boy or girl, walking in the school after everybody left at night? Or going home late and you tried to make a short cut walking through a park with lots of trees like a forest. You might have noticed that how different they were, when you walk through vacant school or park at night by yourself. You must have been frightened by your own shadow and sound of trees by wind. Once you started to feel fear, you could not stop it, could you?
It appears that fear has amplifying effect as above, when you started to feel fear, it just could not be stopped, it amplifies and becomes bigger and bigger. When your baby is sick, you hope it would not be serious and it is just a cold and simple fever. Next day, the fever does not go down. You started to worry. It might be a serious disease. It might be pneumonia. He coughed a lot last night. It must be pneumonia. Your anxiety would be continued to be bigger until you decided to take him to a hospital and doctor told you that it is simple cold and he would be okay in a few days.
I have heard that 99% of your anxiety, fear, worry will be solved as a matter of time. Please take a moment trying to remember what you were feeling fear this time last year. There must have been something, which you worried. Most cases, you would not be able to even remember what those were.
As mentioned above, there are 3 things you can try to control your fear:
1. You can accept you feel fear. Remember everybody feel fear. There is nothing to be shameful to be afraid.
2. You can analyze why you feel fear. Is it not amplified fear without cause or reason?
3. You can think about near future, maybe next week or next month. Do you think you would be fearful next week in the same way as you are today?
It is always help to do what you can do to get rid of your fear and focus on actions not emotions.
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