Emotional IQ - My List

I am not a psycho therapist.  I am not psychology doctor.  So, I was always wonder if these psychology professional people obtain and maintain their peace of mind.  Because it appeared to me that these people have perfect control over their emotions.  One day in the airport, I happened to have an opportunity to talk with a psycho therapist.  She told me that there is no difference between regular people and psychology professional people in the emotion.  Some may be more emotional than others.  I remember that I was relieved to learn that.

There are many people who suffered from panic attacks, unstable status of mind, alcoholism, and gained control over it, later became professional about psychology using their own experience.  I myself gone through some problems and gained control over my own emotions.  In that process, I have looked for information to gain control over my own emotions.  It is my great pleasure if my knowledge and experience will be useful for you any way.  Some times, you find that information from innocent third party is more useful.  But, please keep in mind that I am still learning the process.  That means I am still having difficulty controlling my own emotion like you.

There are several points I try to go through whenever I feel I am losing my temper:

1.  Think if I am trying to be perfectionist?
2.  I admit that I feel fear or anxiety.
3.  Think if I can control the cause of my fear or anxiety.
4.  If I found the cause is not controllable, stop thinking about it, and give up.
5.  Start to act whatever I can take action to make the situation better.
6.  Avoid being lonely and talk with people who i can talk with.

Did I sound like a religious leader or philosopher?  But, if you stop thinking negative and take action from whatever you can take action to make the matter better, miraculously things start to get better.  Whenever you got stuck with things which you cannot control, it is better-off leaving them to 2 powerful beings, God and Time.

Although I cannot prove how it happens, I have my own analysis on in what mechanism, thing work as above.  I will explain it to you some time later.

Check my websites to find out what I am doing:
http://vur.me/shawfunami/me
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Feel free to contact me:
shaw@zhenintl.ws
Shaw Funami
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Emotional IQ - Martial Arts Training Helps

Emotional IQ - Martial Arts Training Helps

I did not plan to post 3 articles on spring season.  I got too much carried away because it was my family's first spring since we moved to East Bay.  Let's move back to the topic of Emotional IQ.  I was talking about there is fear behind anger.  Fear and anger are 2 most dangerous emotion which can deprive you of peace of your mind and damage your reputation and even business.  But it is extremely difficult to control our emotion.  You may pile up lots of stress by trying to control your emotion.  It may drive you crazy.  It aggravate controlling your emotion.  This issue involves lots of complexity as other mental sickness.  The issue will not be simply addressed by remedy by a medicine.

Having said that, however, there are method to improve your emotional peacefulness.  It looks like known fact that many people in Martial Arts are somehow good at controlling their emotion.  I myself practiced a little bit of Martial Arts.  It is good mental training in going through lots of challenges of fighting, tournaments, climbing up black belt ranks and conquering them.  Ancient soldiers and generals, especially Martial Arts Masters going through all fights and duels which could kill them or let them live, must have trained their own mental status and control them.

One of famous General once wrote "If you fight trying to live, you will die.  If you are not afraid of dying, you will win and live."  I interpret it as "there are the ways to survive where you can maintain the peace of mind regardless you die or live.  If you think just to live, it pressures and stresses you so that you would not be able to exercise your skill and power, resulting defeated and die.  If you can reach to the state of mind where you can determine that to live or to die is in the God's hand, then you can release your mind and body to go high-gear on your skill and power.  It will help you to win and live."

It is not just Japanese style Martial Arts, Kanfu of China, Taekwondo of Korea, etc... always emphasize the importance of status of mind.  Zen is the static form and Kan-Fu is dynamic form to reach peace of mind, as I understand.

Having said the above, I am not suggesting you to practice Martial Arts.  I am not selling Karate Dojo membership.  Some may be good at it, others may not.  One may like it, another may not like it.  It is natural and understandable.

Then, the question is if there is a way to attain and maintain the peace of your mind whenever it is necessary?


Check my websites to find out what I am doing:
http://vur.me/shawfunami/me
http://vur.me/shawfunami/zi

Feel free to contact me:
shaw@zhenintl.ws
Shaw Funami
Fill the Missing Link

Spring is appraoching - Part 3

This week was cold again in San Francisco and Bay Area.  It was foggy in the morning, cloudy in the afternoon, small rains at night almost every day.  Still, the speed of spring coming did not change.  It accelerates the speed instead.

We need to be careful not to overlook the change every day, since there are some changes every day and if not careful, we would not be able to notice them.

Cherry is 80% open, now.  It is kind of matching since our home painted pink (LOL).

There are other cherry trees in our neighborhood.  Together with them, it coveys strong feeling of spring.

This is white peace in our back yard.  Since fog had just left and was still cloudy this morning, it does not come out right.  But I thought it delivers the feeling.








 

Nectarine is speeding up opening its flowers.  Selecting fruits trees in buying plants is good idea because you can enjoy both flowers and fruits.








Check my websites to find out what I am doing:
http://vur.me/shawfunami/me
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Feel free to contact me:
shaw@zhenintl.ws
Shaw Funami
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Spring is appraoching - Part 2

It was just right before Valentine's Day and President Day weekend when I posted my previous article on spring.  Since San Francisco and Bay Area had several warm days over the weekend, the season is hurrying up to form its shape of spring.

There were some additional photos I took for enjoying spring this year.  I wanted to share them with you.

See the difference?  My wife and I were so worried about birds eat all of flowers.  It looks that was over worrying.

Flowers keep blooming and we are now sure when we will be able to enjoy full blossom.

We decided to decorate inside of our home with orchids.  San Francisco Flower Market has all kind of seasonal flowers with wholesaler prices.  My wife spent 3 hours there bought 3 orchids.







 






Plum Tree in our backyard.  It is slower than Cherry, but slowly and steadily opening its flowers.

 

Nectarine we bought last year.  Opened flowers are beautify, but all these buds are kind of cute, too.

Check my websites to find out what I am doing:
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Feel free to contact me:
shaw@zhenintl.ws
Shaw Funami
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Spring is approaching slowly but steadily

I am hearing that this winter was very severe in all over the world.  Japan had extremely cold winter in relatively warm places like Tokyo.  My wife's friend is "Cold Season Person" complaining that this winter was TOO cold.

But spring is gradually slowly but steadily coming.  I wanted to share some spring's I found around my family.

When we moved in, we did not know this is Cherry Tree.  It shows when flowers blooming.

This is plum tree.  It was full of plums when we first took a look at this house.  I hope it will give lots of plums this year, too.

These lovely flowers closes when dark, cold, or clouded.  They open when it starts to sun shine.

This is blueberry tree we bought last year.  I hope it will give a lot of fruit this summer.

One more cherry tree.  Birds are eating flowers and throwing them away to ground.  So, we are not sure we will be able to enjoy full bloom.  But, there is no way to stop birds to do so.  Nature will take care of it.  And there is nothing else my wife and I accept it.




Check my websites to find out what I am doing:
http://vur.me/shawfunami/me
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Feel free to contact me:
shaw@zhenintl.ws
Shaw Funami
Fill the Missing Link

Emotional IQ - Fear Amplyfies Itself

Have you had an experience, maybe when you were a young boy or girl, walking in the school after everybody left at night.  Or late coming home you had tried to make a short cut walking through a park with lots of trees like a forest.  You might have noticed that how different they were, when you walk through vacant school or park at night by yourself.  You must have been frightened by your own shadow and sound of trees by wind.  Once you started to feel fear, you could not stop it, could you?

It appears that the fear has amplifying effect as above, when you started to feel fear, it just could not be stopped, it amplifies and becomes bigger and bigger.  When your baby is sick, you hope it would not be serious and it is just a cold and simple fever.  2nd day, the fever does not go down.  Then you started to be worrying.  It might be a serious disease, you thought.  It might be a pneumonia.  He coughed a lot last night.  It must be a pneumonia.  Your anxiety would be continued to be bigger until you decided to take him to a hospital and doctor told you that it is simple cold and he would be okay in a few days.

I have heard that 99% of your anxiety, fear, worry will be solved as a matter of time.  Please take a moment trying to remember what you were feeling fear this time last year.  There must have been something which you worried.  Most cases, you would not be able to even remember what were them.

Related Posts:
http://zheninternational.blogspot.com/2010/01/emotional-iq-what-is-it-why-am-i.html
http://zheninternational.blogspot.com/2010/01/emotional-iq-why-do-you-need-to-manage.html
http://zheninternational.blogspot.com/2010/01/emotional-iq-more-about-anger.html
http://zheninternational.blogspot.com/2010/02/emotional-iq-what-about-fear.html 
http://zheninternational.blogspot.com/2010/02/emotional-iq-nature-of-fear.html

Check my websites to find out what I am doing:
http://vur.me/shawfunami/SF
http://vur.me/shawfunami/zi

Feel free to contact me:
shaw@zhenintl.ws
Shaw Funami
Fill the Missing Link

Emotional IQ - Nature of Fear

It is interesting when I think about "Emotional IQ", specifically about "Fear", I start to receive more information on these concept categories.  I receive Mail Magazine about "Fear" and "Procrastination", blog subscription highlight pots about emotions.  Some may say that it is because my brain is set for picking up these concepts when I think about them.  It may be true to some extend, but it seems to me there are a little bit more than that.  It appears to me that I am sending signals to magnetize and gather information on these concepts.

We examined fear can be categorized on the "fear to loose something you possess" and the "fear not to obtain something you wanted."  Now let's talk about "Nature of Fear".  As we discussed, we were all born with fear.  Not just human beings, but any animal is born with fear.  The fear is one of built-in mechanism of any creature on the planet earth.  Fear is one of the safety mechanism prepared for avoiding dangers in living.  So, everybody feels fear.  The most bravest person in the world feels fear as you and I do.  Knowing this is one of important factor to deal with your fear.  Nobody is fearless even they are called so.

Then, how and when do we feel fear?  It may not be all, but whenever we feel sick, we feel fear.  You do not have to be seriously ill to feel fear.  Even you have hung-over from previous night drinking triggers your fear.  2nd, when you face up to something which you cannot control yourself, that will give you a fear.  For example you do not receive email reply from your lover, your colleagues in your company loosing their jobs, stock market crashes, etc...

Related Posts:
http://zheninternational.blogspot.com/2010/01/emotional-iq-what-is-it-why-am-i.html
http://zheninternational.blogspot.com/2010/01/emotional-iq-why-do-you-need-to-manage.html
http://zheninternational.blogspot.com/2010/01/emotional-iq-more-about-anger.html
http://zheninternational.blogspot.com/2010/02/emotional-iq-what-about-fear.html

Check my websites to find out what I am doing:
http://vur.me/shawfunami/SF
http://vur.me/shawfunami/zi

Feel free to contact me:
shaw@zhenintl.ws
Shaw Funami
Fill the Missing Link

Emotional IQ - What about Fear?

Now about "Fear" which is the backside of "Anger".  "Fear" is the most complicated, most profound, and very powerful emotion.  It seems to me the way we all feel about "Fear" is related to our childhood experience or education.  In some cultures including Japanese, being "fearful" is almost sin.  Ask your kid if he is afraid, he will answer you No with angry face asking back why you believe he is "fearful".  All parents do not like their children to be "fearful".  So parents educate their children not to be fearful.  Be brave.  Don't cry.  Don't be afraid.

So, "fear" could be the most controlled emotion.  By age 10 or 11, most of us learn how not to show our fear even we feel it.  Many feel insulted if somebody says you are afraid.  But the reality of life is there is no one who does not feel "fear".  These mixed and complicated experience are giving "fear" to be a special emotion for human beings.  It may be simpler if one can freely and openly show their fear.  Think we do not have to hide our fear with anger or any other emotion.

There are many kind of fear in our lives and society.  But despite of its complexity, fear can be categorized into just following 2 kinds:
1.  Fear that you lose what you possess.
2.  Fear that you do not get what you badly want.

And we oblate and coat our fear with anger.

Related Posts:
http://zheninternational.blogspot.com/2010/01/emotional-iq-what-is-it-why-am-i.html
http://zheninternational.blogspot.com/2010/01/emotional-iq-why-do-you-need-to-manage.html

Check my websites to find out what I am doing:
http://vur.me/shawfunami/main
http://vur.me/shawfunami/SF
http://vur.me/shawfunami/zi

Feel free to contact me:
shaw@zhenintl.ws
Shaw Funami
Fill the Missing Link