30% of your anger and fear are groundless.
30% of your anger and fear caused by yourself, not by anybody else.
Balance 10% are??? Well, you can shrug them off if you know 90% are meaningless.
It was last night I was reading my favorite Japanese mail magazine. It was called "Motivation Lessons". In his newest edition, he was talking about how to manage and control "Anger" and "Fear". First off, did you know that "Anger" is the back side emotion of "Fear"? You are "Angry" because you are "Fearful". 100% anger is based on fear. There are just 2 kinds of "Fear". First, fear to lose something you do not want to lose. Second, fear not to get something you badly want.
Now, how you can manage and control you fear and anger. He suggested that when you feel fear and anger, you should not try to avoid. You should analyze it. Think what does this fear and anger try to teach me. Think for 10 minutes, 15 minutes, until you get satisfactory answer to yourself what your anger and fear trying to teach you.
By the time you reach your conclusion, your fear and anger are gone. For example, your wife or girl friend is giving you tough time. And you are fearful and angry about your counterpart attitude. You think if you treated her right for past couple of months? Think there are something you promised but did not keep. Think there are something bothers her. You find that you did not even talk with her for long time. You decide to plan to talk and share time with her today. You fear and anger will be gone.
I thought this is a process to "Fill the Missing Link" between your bear emotion and realty. Process to "Fill" the gap between you and your counterpart.
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Fill the Missing Link